Shabbat Shalom.
Last week, Jacob had to flee from his childhood home because he stole the birthright from his brother Esau. He went to Haran and met his uncle Laban. He asked to marry Rachel (Laban’s younger daughter) and Laban agreed. But when it came time to marry Rachel, Laban deceived Jacob and Jacob married Leah (Laban’s older daughter). So Jacob bargained to work for an additional seven years to marry Rachel. Jacob then fled Laban’s home with his two wives, their slaves, Bilah and Zilpah, and all of his children from all four women.
In this week’s parsha, Vayishlach (Genesis 32:4-36:43), Jacob needs to pass through the land of Seir, where his brother Esau, who he has not seen since he stole his birthright, resides. He sends messengers to speak with Esau. They return and tell Jacob that Esau is on his way to meet Jacob with four hundred men. Jacob, concerned that Esau will seek revenge, is terrified and anxious. He separates his family and livestock into separate camps so that if Esau’s men attack one camp, others will survive.
Jacob then remains alone for the rest of the night. He encounters a figure with whom he wrestles until the break of dawn. The being asks to be released but Jacob refuses unless he blesses Jacob. The being then responds, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed.” It is from this passage that Jews receive the name am Yisrael––the people who wrestle with God.
Who or what is this figure with whom Jacob wrestled. Is it a divine angel? Esau? Jacob’s own conscience? And what does it mean to wrestle with beings, human and divine, and prevail?
Let’s go back for a moment. Jacob is about to come face-to-face with his brother, the one from whom he stole his birthright and father’s blessing. The text tells us Jacob is terrified and anxious. The sages struggle with why the Torah has both words – terrified and anxious. They resolve this tension by explaining that Jacob is terrified of being killed and anxious because he might have to kill Esau first. But might it be that what is actually going on is that Jacob is anxious because of his discomfort with having to face his own past?
He essentially has to look in the mirror and see who he has been. Even when Laban deceives him into marrying Leah first, Jacob does not engage in any self-reflection about how Laban’s deceit mirrors his own. Only upon realizing that his brother is coming to see him and has a lot of men with him, is Jacob forced to reckon with his past. When the being tells Jacob, you have wrestled with beings, human and divine, and prevailed, is the being implying that Jacob has wrestled with both his flawed humanity and with the Divine that lives within him that seeks healing and wholeness?
Ater the mysterious being leaves, Jacob sees Esau coming and bows to the ground. Esau runs to greet him, embracing and kissing him and they wept. Then Esau says, “Let us start on our journey, and I will proceed at your pace.” Jacob replies that his children and flocks are frail and he must travel slowly. Esau offers to provide some of his people to help Jacob on his journey, but Jacob refuses. So Esau starts back on his journey to Seir. Jacob presumably would follow and arrive later. But Jacob journeyed to Succoth instead.
In spite of Esau’s mild manner, loving embrace, and offer to support and travel with Jacob, Jacob is unable to release his fear and cannot trust Esau and perhaps cannot face himself. While he wrestled with his Divine conscience, he was nonetheless unable to fully heal from his trauma and overcome his fear. So rather than go and live with his brother, he went a separate way. He never allowed for a full and complete healing and transformation of himself or of the relationship.
Sometimes in life we are able to ignore the mistakes and harm we’ve caused in the past but more often than not, there comes a time when we have to wrestle with our past and what we’ve done. This is one of those times for the Jewish people. Since October 7th, many of us have deeply wrestled with the past. We’ve begun to educate ourselves, to look honestly at the history of Zionism, the establishment of the State of Israel and the Nakba, the ongoing policies and practices of ethnic cleansing, occupation, oppression, and now genocide. This has been a challenging process for many, if not most of us. And yet, this is what it means to be a God-wrestler––to wrestle with our past and present so we can more fully walk in God’s path.
We may want to walk away; to turn our backs and hope that we will be safe and that things will somehow turn out ok. But both in our Torah and in our lives, turning our backs and pretending things will somehow miraculously turn out ok, does not actually work. For there to be a complete healing and transformation, we must both look squarely at and wrestle with what has been and what is, what we have done, the pain we have caused, and then bravely turn toward those we’ve harmed and ask for forgiveness and walk together toward an unknown future where blessings are abundant, loving-kindness and truth meet, and justice and peace kiss.
Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Cat Zavis
P.S. You can watch our last Torah study here. Rabbi Cat did a meditation that you can listen to here.
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You’re Invited to a Heartwarming Hybrid Chanukah Celebration!
Open to everyone, regardless of religious affiliation or background.
🕎 When: Saturday, December 28th, 6:00–9:00 PM PT | 9:00 PM–12:00 AM ET
📍 Where: Join us in person in Berkeley, CA, or online via Zoom
We’d love your help! Volunteers are needed for set-up and clean-up. If you’re available, please contact Austin at austin@beyttikkun.org.
